Interview 1
My first interview was with a woman who asked me to keep her identity private. I began by asking her how pregnancy effected her physically. She started by talking about the different stages of pregnancy. Her first trimester was easy, and the pregnancy only got difficult in the last three months. "Physically it wasn't that bad in the beginning, as the pregnancy progressed, the baby began to press on my internal organs...especially my bladder". Her changing body size presented a few minor challenges; "It was really hard to find sophisticated/work maternity clothing, my shoe size went up half a size, and I couldn't see my feet". Another obstacle her pregnancy brought was finding comfortable positions i.e. sleeping.
My first interview was with a woman who asked me to keep her identity private. I began by asking her how pregnancy effected her physically. She started by talking about the different stages of pregnancy. Her first trimester was easy, and the pregnancy only got difficult in the last three months. "Physically it wasn't that bad in the beginning, as the pregnancy progressed, the baby began to press on my internal organs...especially my bladder". Her changing body size presented a few minor challenges; "It was really hard to find sophisticated/work maternity clothing, my shoe size went up half a size, and I couldn't see my feet". Another obstacle her pregnancy brought was finding comfortable positions i.e. sleeping.
Then our conversation moved into the area of labor/giving birth. "Giving birth was not particularly pleasant...The waiting was bad". She went into labor on a Saturday night and didn't give birth until Sunday evening. I asked her how she had prepared for birth during her pregnancy. She had taken Lamaze classes with her husband. "All the training goes out the window when the baby actually comes...it was hard to focus on Lamaze breathing and exercises during the actual process of giving birth. I don't remember the pain but I remember that it was painful".
Next, we discussed other people's reactions to her pregnancy. "At work we didn't really discuss my pregnancy. I wanted to keep things professional; people think that become you're pregnant, you're less efficient at what you do. I worked up until the day before I went into labor". I asked her if strangers were interested in her pregnancy. She couldn't recall any encounters but she did remember that she was offered a seat on the subway twice in her 9 month pregnancy, during which she took the subway twice a day.
"I remember thinking I was vaguely embarassed when I first started showing" She had gone through one unsuccessful pregnancy so she waited about three months before she told people she was pregnant. One thing that embarrassed her was that when she would tell someone "I'm pregnant", in her mind it would translate to "I had sex".
We also went over why she had a child. She said it was mainly because her husband so desperately wanted kids. But because of the pain, and the postpartum depression she developed after giving birth, she hasn't had any more children.
We also went over why she had a child. She said it was mainly because her husband so desperately wanted kids. But because of the pain, and the postpartum depression she developed after giving birth, she hasn't had any more children.
Interview 2: Dad
For this interview, I talked to my dad. I started by asking him simply how my mother's pregnancy effected him. He said that it could be unnerving at times to think about the pregnancy, "It kept me on my toes. I became very aware of being concerned about her welfare, because it wasn't just about her it was about you too".
I asked him how he and my mom prepared for the birth. "We put together a bag that we could take out at the last minute, because we didn't know when labor could start. We thought through multiple plans of action because we were concerned about taking above ground transportation during winter". They also made a list of all of the people they wanted to call when my mom went into labor so they wouldn't forget anyone. He made sure he brought a camera because he wanted to take pictures, but my mom insisted that there not be a video camera because she didn't want the birth on tape.
I asked him to describe the hospital experience. "When we arrived, and were admitted to the room, there was a nurse that I can best describe as 'completely incompetent'. She couldn't set up an IV drip; she kept jabbing your mother without hitting the vein properly. I sought out the head nurse and screamed at her that 'my wife is not a pin cushion, I want someone to do the job, and do it right'. There was enough pain and she didn't need this nonsense". Apparently the doctor was "mean-spirted"; he essentially threatened my mom while she was giving birth, "He threatened to give her a C-section if she didn't push harder, which was the last thing she wanted. But i think he had to act that way to get your mother to not prolong the process".
During our discussion he also said that "The funniest part of the birth was the fact that your mother, the NEW nurse, and I were all watching the marathon, and the runner took the wrong road to the finish line, so all three of us started screaming "go back go back go back" and then we all realized, "oh yeah, we're having a baby".
The part of the entire experience which stuck with him most was when the doctor pulled me out and held me upside down. He turned to hand me over to the nurse and in the process put my face inches from my dad's. "You were just screaming. Your face was purplish. I counted your fingers and toes to make sure you were all there. Then they placed you under a heating lamp and your skin started to look normal...The moment when you and I came face to face is something that will stick with me forever; it's exciting unique and one of a kind, and it's mine".
The most difficult question for him to answer was the why. I asked him why he wanted to have children. "I think my reason is a many reason people have children, and this is selfish, but they want someone who is a part of them to carry on; someone who is a unique being; a product of two other beings. Kids are fun. Kids let us be kids again, through them".
Interview 3: Grandma
My grandmother was still working as an assistant principal when she became pregnant with her first child. She told me that she "was not prepared for being nauseated", and that sometimes she would have to run back to her office and wait for a long time before she could get back to working. I asked her how she prepared for the birth, "I was superstitious about buying anything for the coming baby in case anything bad happened. The only thing I picked out was a crib, but my mother was going to buy it for us". But, she did get lucky in the supply department because the "godparents owned a baby clothing store and brought everything" when the baby was born.
Next, I asked her about how other people effected her pregnancy. "People always want to touch the belly, and there's really no way to stop them". She also said that she didnt know too much about nutrition because she was relatively thin at the time, and the only piece of "nutritional" advice she was given was that "after birth, drinking beer makes more milk for the baby".
My final question was "Why did you decide to have children?". She said, "none of the babies were planned... there was no real concious decision". And actually when the third baby came along, she felt that she wasn't prepared, and was thinking about having an abortion. This was because the first two children were only twenty months apart and she felt that she couldn't handle a third child. "But my mother came to help, so it was okay".
Overall Reflection
The first interview interested me because I thought it was peculiar that she was essentially ashamed of being pregnant at the beginning. I've always considered to be a positive experience in a woman's life. I think that maybe because she didn't necessarily have a want for children, pressure was added for her to live up to other people's standards. The second interview was interesting because I've always wondered what a man thinks about pregnancy. I thought it interesting that a man was more interested in having children than a woman. I think that because the woman had such high working standards, she didn't want a baby to interfere with work. This brought up a question for me, "are babies more important than working?". I thought about this because as organisms, our goal in life is essentially reproduce, isn't it? But, overall the most interesting conversation was with my grandma. I thought that the birth myth she talked about was really funny, and I thought it would be interesting to further explore and compare myths from now and "way back when".
I asked him how he and my mom prepared for the birth. "We put together a bag that we could take out at the last minute, because we didn't know when labor could start. We thought through multiple plans of action because we were concerned about taking above ground transportation during winter". They also made a list of all of the people they wanted to call when my mom went into labor so they wouldn't forget anyone. He made sure he brought a camera because he wanted to take pictures, but my mom insisted that there not be a video camera because she didn't want the birth on tape.
I asked him to describe the hospital experience. "When we arrived, and were admitted to the room, there was a nurse that I can best describe as 'completely incompetent'. She couldn't set up an IV drip; she kept jabbing your mother without hitting the vein properly. I sought out the head nurse and screamed at her that 'my wife is not a pin cushion, I want someone to do the job, and do it right'. There was enough pain and she didn't need this nonsense". Apparently the doctor was "mean-spirted"; he essentially threatened my mom while she was giving birth, "He threatened to give her a C-section if she didn't push harder, which was the last thing she wanted. But i think he had to act that way to get your mother to not prolong the process".
During our discussion he also said that "The funniest part of the birth was the fact that your mother, the NEW nurse, and I were all watching the marathon, and the runner took the wrong road to the finish line, so all three of us started screaming "go back go back go back" and then we all realized, "oh yeah, we're having a baby".
The part of the entire experience which stuck with him most was when the doctor pulled me out and held me upside down. He turned to hand me over to the nurse and in the process put my face inches from my dad's. "You were just screaming. Your face was purplish. I counted your fingers and toes to make sure you were all there. Then they placed you under a heating lamp and your skin started to look normal...The moment when you and I came face to face is something that will stick with me forever; it's exciting unique and one of a kind, and it's mine".
The most difficult question for him to answer was the why. I asked him why he wanted to have children. "I think my reason is a many reason people have children, and this is selfish, but they want someone who is a part of them to carry on; someone who is a unique being; a product of two other beings. Kids are fun. Kids let us be kids again, through them".
Interview 3: Grandma
My grandmother was still working as an assistant principal when she became pregnant with her first child. She told me that she "was not prepared for being nauseated", and that sometimes she would have to run back to her office and wait for a long time before she could get back to working. I asked her how she prepared for the birth, "I was superstitious about buying anything for the coming baby in case anything bad happened. The only thing I picked out was a crib, but my mother was going to buy it for us". But, she did get lucky in the supply department because the "godparents owned a baby clothing store and brought everything" when the baby was born.
Next, I asked her about how other people effected her pregnancy. "People always want to touch the belly, and there's really no way to stop them". She also said that she didnt know too much about nutrition because she was relatively thin at the time, and the only piece of "nutritional" advice she was given was that "after birth, drinking beer makes more milk for the baby".
My final question was "Why did you decide to have children?". She said, "none of the babies were planned... there was no real concious decision". And actually when the third baby came along, she felt that she wasn't prepared, and was thinking about having an abortion. This was because the first two children were only twenty months apart and she felt that she couldn't handle a third child. "But my mother came to help, so it was okay".
Overall Reflection
The first interview interested me because I thought it was peculiar that she was essentially ashamed of being pregnant at the beginning. I've always considered to be a positive experience in a woman's life. I think that maybe because she didn't necessarily have a want for children, pressure was added for her to live up to other people's standards. The second interview was interesting because I've always wondered what a man thinks about pregnancy. I thought it interesting that a man was more interested in having children than a woman. I think that because the woman had such high working standards, she didn't want a baby to interfere with work. This brought up a question for me, "are babies more important than working?". I thought about this because as organisms, our goal in life is essentially reproduce, isn't it? But, overall the most interesting conversation was with my grandma. I thought that the birth myth she talked about was really funny, and I thought it would be interesting to further explore and compare myths from now and "way back when".
After having these three conversations, I would like to explore the "myths" behind birth and pregnancy. (i.e. beer=more breast-milk).
*All people interviewed gave permission for their identities to be revealed except for interview 1
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteYour interviews and their resulting analysis were very interesting to read; I found the part in which the doctor threatened your mother with a C-section particularly so, I wonder if doctors can legally perform such an operation under the given conditions (i.e. lack of consent). What do you think caused the 'superstitions' your grandmother had in relation to not buying baby items out of fear of essentially 'jinxing it'? Could it be a personal belief, or perhaps a cultural one?
I also kind of want to know the answer to the beer = milk question, it sounds worthy of investigation...
Nice post!
-Lucas
Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteYour interviews were interesting and you presented each one with something of a narrative arc, different from mine which is something i think i could work on. the details were the most nice spice, like how the doctor made threats and the nurse was incompetant. the one that struck me the most was the first interviewee only got offered a seat twice on the train in those 9 months, maybe my social obligations are more different than i thought than of others. im curious to know what neighborhood she would get off and on. another thing i also liked was how i could also very easily follow your thought process which almost made me feel im not alone at night looking at a computer reading someones blog. thanks for the stories,
John
Elizabeth -
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed very much reading what you wrote! It was interesting to read about different perspectives on pregnancy and birth stories, especially because the topic is so intimate and personal. I particularly was struck by when the first interviewee said she was only offered a seat on the subway twice throughout her whole pregnancy, despite riding it twice a day. You phrased it as this happened for 9 months, but women don't even start showing until later on in the pregnancy. Also, people can't always tell when someone's pregnant especially with coats on. Still, you'd think someone would notice, but maybe I just don't like the idea that our society is that inconsiderate. In terms of my own life, this post made me think about how I should find out about my own mother and grandmother's birth experience. You seem to have uncovered some funny details too, (like the myth beer = milk) and gained a better understanding of what it means to be pregnant. And of course it's interesting to think about what it means about society from way we treat pregnant people. Overall, I'm glad I read this post and heard all these interesting stories!
Sara B. :)