Comments I made:
Lucas:
Lucas:
I really enjoyed reading this post. Overall you did a great job. But I think you did best at keeping the stories informative yet short (a problem I faced in writing my assignment).
One of the only things I could think of changing would be the placement of this section, "Women who have miscarriages sometimes blame themselves for the event, wondering if every little event was the one that caused it. It can be psychologically devastating, and is hard to deal with without therapy. This link was somewhat informative on the topic". The reason for this is because that paragraph was a narrative, not research or response. I would have started off the next paragraph with a bit of rephrasing like, "Through research on (link here), I discovered that women who have miscarriages sometimes blame themselves for the event, wondering if every little event was the one that caused it. It can be psychologically devastating, and is hard to deal with without therapy".
Otherwise, good job!
P.S. I appreciate your sophisticated yet easy to read writing style.
John:
Hey John,
I think that the first topic you'd like to explore further is a really interesting one (what are the reasons for marriage and birth to be so interconnected in our society?). Another thing that I liked was that in your response paragraph, you talked about society and then compared society's standards back to Tom and Jackie.
One thing I'd suggest is proofreading your work. There were a few minor grammar mistakes that you would have noticed i you'd combed through your work. Another benefit from proofreading is that you could probably see room for expansion and, by doing so, add some more "beauty" to your work.
Good Job!
Comments on my Blog:
John:
Elizabeth!
Your interviews were interesting and you presented each one with something of a narrative arc, different from mine which is something i think i could work on. the details were the most nice spice, like how the doctor made threats and the nurse was incompetant. the one that struck me the most was the first interviewee only got offered a seat twice on the train in those 9 months, maybe my social obligations are more different than i thought than of others. im curious to know what neighborhood she would get off and on. another thing i also liked was how i could also very easily follow your thought process which almost made me feel im not alone at night looking at a computer reading someones blog. thanks for the stories,
John
One of the only things I could think of changing would be the placement of this section, "Women who have miscarriages sometimes blame themselves for the event, wondering if every little event was the one that caused it. It can be psychologically devastating, and is hard to deal with without therapy. This link was somewhat informative on the topic". The reason for this is because that paragraph was a narrative, not research or response. I would have started off the next paragraph with a bit of rephrasing like, "Through research on (link here), I discovered that women who have miscarriages sometimes blame themselves for the event, wondering if every little event was the one that caused it. It can be psychologically devastating, and is hard to deal with without therapy".
Otherwise, good job!
P.S. I appreciate your sophisticated yet easy to read writing style.
John:
Hey John,
I think that the first topic you'd like to explore further is a really interesting one (what are the reasons for marriage and birth to be so interconnected in our society?). Another thing that I liked was that in your response paragraph, you talked about society and then compared society's standards back to Tom and Jackie.
One thing I'd suggest is proofreading your work. There were a few minor grammar mistakes that you would have noticed i you'd combed through your work. Another benefit from proofreading is that you could probably see room for expansion and, by doing so, add some more "beauty" to your work.
Good Job!
Comments on my Blog:
John:
Elizabeth!
Your interviews were interesting and you presented each one with something of a narrative arc, different from mine which is something i think i could work on. the details were the most nice spice, like how the doctor made threats and the nurse was incompetant. the one that struck me the most was the first interviewee only got offered a seat twice on the train in those 9 months, maybe my social obligations are more different than i thought than of others. im curious to know what neighborhood she would get off and on. another thing i also liked was how i could also very easily follow your thought process which almost made me feel im not alone at night looking at a computer reading someones blog. thanks for the stories,
John
Lucas:
Elizabeth,
Your interviews and their resulting analysis were very interesting to read; I found the part in which the doctor threatened your mother with a C-section particularly so, I wonder if doctors can legally perform such an operation under the given conditions (i.e. lack of consent). What do you think caused the 'superstitions' your grandmother had in relation to not buying baby items out of fear of essentially 'jinxing it'? Could it be a personal belief, or perhaps a cultural one?
I also kind of want to know the answer to the beer = milk question, it sounds worthy of investigation...
Nice post!
-Lucas
Sara B (10th Grader @ different school):
Elizabeth -
I enjoyed very much reading what you wrote! It was interesting to read about different perspectives on pregnancy and birth stories, especially because the topic is so intimate and personal. I particularly was struck by when the first interviewee said she was only offered a seat on the subway twice throughout her whole pregnancy, despite riding it twice a day. You phrased it as this happened for 9 months, but women don't even start showing until later on in the pregnancy. Also, people can't always tell when someone's pregnant especially with coats on. Still, you'd think someone would notice, but maybe I just don't like the idea that our society is that inconsiderate. In terms of my own life, this post made me think about how I should find out about my own mother and grandmother's birth experience. You seem to have uncovered some funny details too, (like the myth beer = milk) and gained a better understanding of what it means to be pregnant. And of course it's interesting to think about what it means about society from way we treat pregnant people. Overall, I'm glad I read this post and heard all these interesting stories!
Sara B. :)
Elizabeth -
I enjoyed very much reading what you wrote! It was interesting to read about different perspectives on pregnancy and birth stories, especially because the topic is so intimate and personal. I particularly was struck by when the first interviewee said she was only offered a seat on the subway twice throughout her whole pregnancy, despite riding it twice a day. You phrased it as this happened for 9 months, but women don't even start showing until later on in the pregnancy. Also, people can't always tell when someone's pregnant especially with coats on. Still, you'd think someone would notice, but maybe I just don't like the idea that our society is that inconsiderate. In terms of my own life, this post made me think about how I should find out about my own mother and grandmother's birth experience. You seem to have uncovered some funny details too, (like the myth beer = milk) and gained a better understanding of what it means to be pregnant. And of course it's interesting to think about what it means about society from way we treat pregnant people. Overall, I'm glad I read this post and heard all these interesting stories!
Sara B. :)
Dad:
My reaction to your interviews, one of which was with me, is that I also found your grandmother’s comments most interesting. The most fascinating line was her comment about how drinking beer produces more breast milk. I had to laugh. I had never ever heard that before.
Given that your grandmother came from a different generation, it was interesting to see her perspective on pregnancy versus my point of view. I understood the superstitious aspect. I was surprised to learn that none of the pregnancies were planned. One thing that holds true even today is that people always want to touch the belly. To me it’s an invasion of one’s personal space. But people just seem to think it’s an accepted norm, as if they don’t even have to ask.
You indicate that it surprised you that I took such an interest in children, a notion I would guess that is normally associated with women. I think that comes from my father, who participated quite a lot in raising me, probably more than other fathers in the neighborhood. It was something I realized after I was well out of my teens; how lucky I had both a mother as well as a father who took an interest in my well being. I came to appreciate the experience I had with them. Some of my friends growing up were not as fortunate, coming from single parent homes and/or abusive environments. My parents set an example for me to follow. How well I carry on in the same tradition remains to be seen. As the saying goes, only time will tell.
I tried to post my comments earlier and the system crashed, so here I go again.
ReplyDeleteMy reaction to your interviews, one of which was with me, is that I also found your grandmother’s comments most interesting. The most fascinating line was her comment about how drinking beer produces more breast milk. I had to laugh. I had never ever heard that before.
Given that your grandmother came from a different generation, it was interesting to see her perspective on pregnancy versus my point of view. I understood the superstitious aspect. I was surprised to learn that none of the pregnancies were planned. One thing that holds true even today is that people always want to touch the belly. To me it’s an invasion of one’s personal space. But people just seem to think it’s an accepted norm, as if they don’t even have to ask.
You indicate that it surprised you that I took such an interest in children, a notion I would guess that is normally associated with women. I think that comes from my father, who participated quite a lot in raising me, probably more than other fathers in the neighborhood. It was something I realized after I was well out of my teens; how lucky I had both a mother as well as a father who took an interest in my well being. I came to appreciate the experience I had with them. Some of my friends growing up were not as fortunate, coming from single parent homes and/or abusive environments. My parents set an example for me to follow. How well I carry on in the same tradition remains to be seen. As the saying goes, only time will tell.