HW 59 - SOF Prom 2011 & DSPs

I did not attend last night's prom or after party. Actually, I was quite tired and went to sleep around 7pm. I woke up in the middle of the night (around 4am) and my computer was still on. I went over to turn it off and noticed I was logged into my facebook account. I refreshed the page and saw that someone had already posted a picture from after-prom. The caption was "Afterprom bitchezzzzz". And then I turned off my computer and went back to sleep. 


Earlier today I was at my friend's house and one of the first things she did when we got there was turn on her computer and look at prom pictures. I found myself making conversation by commenting on dresses I liked or pictures we thought were funny. My friend skipped over a picture and I did a double take, telling her to go back a page. It was of a female senior who dresses pretty masculine every day. She looked completely different. She had her hair and makeup done, she was wearing pumps and a bright blue dress with a poofy skirt bottom. At first I was happy-she looked great- but then I got to thinking about identity. The girl I saw in those prom pictures was totally different from the girl I was used to seeing every day at school. With that said, it was her choice whether or not to dress that way. 


I'll probably go to prom next year. I don't plan on skipping school simply to pamper myself hours in advance. I really wont know until next year though. 

HW 58 - Prom Interviews

For this assignment, I had four interviewees; E, a current senior, B also a current senior, my mom and my dad. E has never been to prom, but she plans for going soon.  We talked about prom clothing and who she was going with amongst other things. Our conversation started to have more meaning when I asked her why she was going to prom, "I guess it's a right of passage thing. Also you see all of the people you've spent the last four years with get dressed up, it's just fun". We also talked about kids who are in different friend groups, "There aren't really cliques, just groups of friends, and it's that night the kids you don't talk to that often might like open up". I thought this was an interesting point. Essentially, what E was saying, was that prom helps kids who are shy become more comfortable with themselves. Now, whether this is true or not, I don't know, but it's a nice way to think about prom.

The next person I talked to, B, has been to one prom and is planning on going this year as well. She said that her first time at prom wasn't as magical as she thought it was going to be. Her night ended pretty early because her date got sick. Something that particularly frustrated her was the amount of money she had spent on her outfit for the night. She hasn't worn the dress again, and spent a lot on it. I told her that her night sounded like she had the worst night ever, but she said that she did have some fun. I said that I hoped that everyone would have a fun time at this year's prom, and she said that she felt the same. 

My mother never went to prom, so I asked her what variables came to play in that decision. "I was quiet, I didn't have a boyfriend. I was asked, but I was angry because I knew he had asked out about three girls before me". My mother said this with a slight look of disgust. She also said that she didn't really see the point in going. I asked her if it had anything to do with the lack of a date or boyfriend. "Not really, it didn't really matter much to me. I was curious, but I wasn't really interested in having a boyfriend". I pictured my mother sitting in the quiet house on prom night. Her brother was probably off with his friends somewhere and her sister was probably at college.  I wondered if she felt at all left out, "I guess afterwards I did a little". She said that her friends all went, with dates, and her best friend encouraged her to go with the guy who had asked her. Overall, I felt that her simple reason, "I didn't see the point" was a fair argument- why do something you don't want to do?

My dad used to have a band by the name of Whirling Dervish. According  to my father, his band had groupies, which is hard for me to believe,  but he apparently went to prom with one of them. About a week ago, I was  going through old photos, and came across of some old late 60s and  early 70s shots of my dad. One of which he was preforming with Whirling  Dervish, and another at his prom. I laughed when I saw his prom outfit.  It was like a tux from a bad 70s prom movie. The dress shirt had some  extreme ruffles on the front, he had a powder blue tux on and a nice bow  tie to tie the whole look together. I thought to myself, is this really formal?  From my perspective I thought that prom was all about being formal and  grown up, but the only situation I can think of where wearing a powdered  blue suit and a ruffled shirt is acceptable would be at prom, and  generally worn by "the funny guy". 

Though  it may seem that prom has changed over the years, I found through my  interviews that is isn't necessarily so for every aspect of prom. While  it might be more acceptable now to go to prom without a date, both girls  from my generation have dates to prom. People still dress in formal  attire, kids still drink and party before and after prom. In contrast, I  think that the perspective on prom has changed a lot. My mom was more  focused on the fact that she wasn't really interested in boys- almost as  if going to prom revolved around having a romantic interest. In  contrast, E said that prom was all about seeing everyone looking  different and having fun together. After these interviews, my  perspective on prom hasn't changed much. I think it's a bit silly to pay  so much money to have fun with classmates, but at the same time I'd  like to go to my own prom next year, merely for the experience. As I see  it, prom is now a part of American culture, so why not experience  something that is essentially a part of my culture?

HW 57 - Initial Thoughts on Prom

I've never been to a prom, but I almost went to one this year. My mom's friend has two sons, and one of them got rejected by 3 girls to prom, so my mom asked me if I would go with him. I cringed at the thought. He's not mean, nor ugly, but we're not close friends. Not to mention the fact that my mom had just technically asked me to go to prom. But I also didn't want the embarrassment of walking into a room full of strangers, who all know one another and have set cliques.I didn't want to be an outsider. But at the same time, I didn't want to be the fourth girl to turn this poor guy down. Luckily for me, he got asked by a girl about a week later. 

This situation made me think a lot about prom stereotypes. There's the loser guy who can't get a date, the pretty, smart, nice girl who is clearly going to win prom queen, there are the girls who turn down the loser guy because they want someone more popular to ask them, and the couple that has been going out for over a year. The list could go on for quite some time, but those are the first few that popped up in my head. This relates back to the video trailer we saw for the new Disney movie, "Prom". The trailer focuses on some of the main stereotypes- The pretty girl, the bad boy, the nerdy guy, and the couple. I found the trailer to be marketed to the female population- the majority of the girls in the class laughed at all of the right parts and most of the guys just stared at the screen, relatively emotionless. There are definitely gender roles portrayed through prom in different ways, but each way is ritual. Girls wear dresses, boys wear suits. Boys get the girl a corsage, and generally pick them up. Girls pamper themselves earlier in the day, getting their nails and hair done.

There are many different rituals to explore in relation to prom, and not all of them relate to gender, but it's one of the clearer aspects of prom that sticks out to me.

Questions I'd like to explore:

- Why did prom originate/what was the purpose?

- How much money is grossed by the prom industry (dresses, limos, event spaces)?

- Why do people choose to not go to prom?

- How has prom changed over time?
- What are the gender roles that are played out during prom?

HW 56 - Culminating Project Comments

Comments I made:
John: 
When you told me that you were going to a stranger’s funeral, I was a little skeptical. The idea seemed cool, but ultimately I thought you’d get caught or something. I think your experience was unique and that your observations/thoughts were interesting (the part about being sorry).
While I enjoyed your ending, I felt that your post was incomplete in some ways, and that certain thoughts went unfinished. I think you could have touched more on lying to this woman- why is it so unacceptable for you to be at a stranger’s funeral? If you were to say “I didn’t know him well, but I’ve heard he was a great guy”, where do you think the conversation would have went etc? Good ideas, good post.
Lucas:
Lucas, you are an amazing writer. Your post was fun to read, and I enjoyed your little note at the end.
I would have liked to see the video, and read about something you learned about care of the dead, not necessarily life skills, but your clever wording turned your learned skills into a project.
I'm kind of at a loss for words, I don't really know what other feedback to give you.

Comments on my blog:
Kady:
I really enjoyed reading your post. It was both personal and informative. The interview was the most interesting part. I do always wonder how accurate those crime shows are. I noticed that you started questioning if the police should be fighting crime instead of waiting outside the homes of the recently deceased, but you never answered your own question. I would have been very interested to read the information you would have found on the ethics on the job of a police officer.
Dad:
So the old man across the hall dies. I guess the possibility that foul play may or may not have been the cause of his demise would have made for some great Law and Order episode. But it appears that you discovered that sometimes life and death is just well, kind of boring.
Interesting how Stacey from Criminal Minds points out that they sometimes show you a, then c while skipping b even if it makes for an inaccurate timeline because people would get bored. I was surprised to learn that sometimes the real dead body is not as gross as what’s on the show. I guess entertainment is entertainment and holding the interest of the audience is number one. But it sounds like even though there’s a responsibility to advertisers to bring in viewers, there’s at least a desire to get it right. I would have liked to have gotten some insight into the operations of another television show regarding the dead to see how their approach measures up against Criminal Minds.

Extra Credit - 2 Harold and Maude

Though this assignment is to focus on the theme of funerals and death in Harold & Maude, I'd like to say that I thought that was not the main concentration of the movie. In fact, I felt that the movie was much about living rather than the care of the dead. It challenges many social practices, but the message that I received was that humans are controlled by religion, politics, and theory. This idea became completed when there was a sequence of clips- Harold's uncle with Nixon in the background, his psychiatrist with Freud in the background, and a priest, with the pope in the background. They expressed each of the topics- Nixon represented politics, Freud represented theory, and the pope represented religion. 

Another way control is expressed is through Harold's mother. I considered her to represent society. Firstly she was selfish- saying things like "I don't know how much longer I can take this" and filling out Harold's survey with her own opinions. Secondly, she wanted the "picture" to be perfect- this was shown when she decided that Harold needed to find a wife. 

The funeral and death sections are mainly show in the beginning of the film, but parts can be spotted through out the rest of the film. The funerals are shown as dull, sad times, with Maude, the little bit of light smiling in the background. There are lots of religious aspects related to the care of the dead in this movie, many of the gravestones had crosses on them, and Maude stole a priest's car. Originally, Harold was more about the death than anything, but Maude changed his perspective. She focused more on how to live life fully. 

Harold and Maude was a great movie, but I felt like it would have been better for the illness and dying unit than the care of the dead unit, because the only time the audience is shown a main character being cared for is Maude. 

HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead

A few weeks ago, the old man who lived across the hall from me died. He lived alone, so no one heard the thud his body made when he landed on the floor. His daily New York Times had been sitting on his door mat for a few hours, when the neighbors started to worry. I came home around 6, only to find two police officers sitting outside his door. When the old man didn't answer the door, the police had broken the lock, and now, they had to wait for someone to collect the body and put green tape paper signs over the locks. I thought about the old man's still, lifeless body and that I didn't even know his first name. But then I got curious. Why are there two police officers sitting outside this door instead of "fighting crime in the streets? Is it technically a crime scene until a cause of death has been determined? Is that why they're sitting outside the apartment? 

That same night, I was pretty bored, so i started flipping channels and came across Law and Order. The detectives were at a crime scene where an old woman was found dead in her apartment. The people who were going over the body had gloves on, and a tool bag and were kind of probing her, but the detectives were walking around looking at different parts of the apartment and touching things. I thought to myself- are they going to do that to the man's apartment? Are they going to probe his body and possessions?

I decided to do a little background research on these shows. A lot of the negative focus was on the inaccurate portrayal of data. In real life, testing of bodily fluids can take up to three weeks, depending on the amount of cases a lab needs to process. But in contrast, I discovered that a lot of these shows have a people on staff who act as fact-checkers and verifiers.

To further my knowledge on how these shows portray the dead, I got in contact with Stacey Beneville, who is a first assistant director on the show "Criminal Minds". Our conversation was relatively short, but I learned a lot from our discussion. I started off asking her about the accuracy of the show, I told her that I had read online that a lot of shows have really inaccurate time-lines. Stacey said that "We figure out what all of the real steps might be, but sometimes there's a, b, and c. But if we showed a, b, and c, people would get bored, so to speed things up, we might only show steps a and c". With that said though, a lot of research goes into making things on the show accurate. There is an FBI tech analyst on staff, as well as a researcher, but the research doesn't stop with them. "We do a lot of that here. We make sure we know what the cops look like for each area we film in, we want things to look as realistic as possible". To move our conversation back to care of the dead, I asked her if she thought that the dead bodies they have on the show were over-dramatized. "If anything, it's the opposite". I was confused. "We've seen some real dead bodies, we've been to the New York City morgue". She then went on to talk about the different types of dead bodies there are. If someone on the show has just died, pretty much all they need is some fake blood. But let's say a body was drowned, that takes a little more work, "Sometimes the bodies who have drowned or decayed in real life are actually less graphic than the bodies we have on the show". There are a few reasons behind that; one being that there are certain things that can't be shown on public television, the second being that they simply don't want to gross out the audience. 


This project gave me a lot of information to process. I went in thinking that crime shows were completely and totally inaccurate representations. But one thing Stacey said to me really stuck in my mind, "We don't want to contaminate our own crime scene". It showed me that she truly cared about getting accurate information, and while timelines may be sped up, and bodies may be grossed down, not everything is completely and totally off. I will however keep in mind that Criminal Minds is more about the psychology of killing than the actual care of corpses. Overall, I thought that my interview with Stacey was a surprising one, but it didn't really change my perspective on the accuracy of these shows. 

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1930/the_difference_between_tv_forensics_pg2.html?cat=17

http://sixestate.com/fact-checking-before-and-after-the-internet/

HW 54 - Independent Research B

When I was about four or five years old, my parents enrolled me in the NYSEC’s (New York Society for Ethical Culture) Sunday school program. The program focused on the question, “what is the right thing to do?”. Throughout the 8 or so years I spent in the program, I had a multitude of teachers/mentors. In the program when someone turns 13, they end the youth program and join the teen leadership program. The current teacher for both of these classes is a woman named Rita. Rita was my Sunday school teacher for  2 or 3 years, and I’ve been in the teen program since 2008ish. I chose to interview Rita because I’ve learned a lot from her, and she is definitely a person I’d look to for guidance.  We didn’t talk about a text, but during a recent meeting, we read the book, “How Full is your Bucket?”. There are two versions of the book- an adult book, and a children’s picture book. We opted for the picture book.

The book follows a little boy who is mean to his little sister, so his grandpa tells him that everyone has a little bucket over their heads that empties a little every time they feel let down. The next day at school, bad things keep happening to him and his bucket is nearly empty. During recess he visualizes everyone with their bucket, getting fuller because they're playing and having fun. Throughout the afternoon, his bucket gets fuller, because people do nice things for him because he's feeling glum. When he gets home, he decides to play with his little sister, because he is so happy, and so her bucket can be full. I think that the morals around this story are interesting. The concept being taught to children is similar to the concept of karma (what goes around comes around, good or bad).


On the phone with Rita, we talked a lot about her personal feelings surrounding the dead. Most of what we talked about was on spirituality. She focused on a recent death of her friend Chris. He was married to her friend and they had a girl. Chris died due to cancer a few months ago, leaving his wife and five year old daughter behind. She said that recent events led her to believe that spirits do live on and effect the lives of people who they touched while alive.


The first strange event was when some adults were asking the five year old daughter if she understood what happened to her daddy. She said that he was at peace and was with Caroline now. This was strange because no one in the family ever talked about Caroline, who was Chris' mother. The next thing was that he lost his wedding ring a few months before his death, and once he did pass away, his wife was "really sad and depressed. She said 'Chris, I just need you to give me some sign that you are taking care of things- that i'm not alone'. She was angry that her dead husband left her with a mess". Right then, her nephew came out of her parent's bedroom and said that he had found the ring. The peculiar part though was that it was stuck between two mattresses- a strange place for the nephew to find it.

The last thing, that has really made Rita think more about spirits carrying on in the world, was a phone call. Chris' wife was sitting in her car, crying, when her phone started to ring. The caller ID was Chris. She picked up, somewhat angry, and asked why this person was calling her. The man on the other end said that she had in fact called him- which was not true. They had a little bit of a conversation and she explained to him what had happened, and he actually ended up living in their old neighborhood. This might not have had and extreme message or effect on Chris' wife, but it's just a really strange thing to happen. "He left in such an unfinished way, so young, his spirit...who knows...I'm open to the idea of spirits living on".  

HW 53 - Independent Research A

In Her Childhood Dream, a Funeral Home Was the Destination - Tim Stelloh 
Lisa S. Dozier saw her great uncle's dead body when she was seven. This event set the path for the rest of her life because she wanted to make dead people look as peaceful as he did. She now runs her own funeral home, which is unique because she works in a male dominant industry. Women are quickly beginning to merge themselves into the funeral industry. Her parents never took her want to work with the dead seriously until she graduated college and began working as an apprentice. Though working in the industry brings questions from many people, her work is important because a woman knows specific things that a man might not. In order for her to graduate from school, she needed an apprenticeship which is hard for women to find in the industry. She found one while on a bus, and now drives hearses sometimes, which catches people's eyes. 

Daily Life in the Business of Death - Stella Kramer
Scott Palmer grew up with his family's funeral home business. Palmer decided not to join the family business when he got older, but he did a photo project titled "Raised by the Dead". He did the project because people are uncomfortable with the subject of funerals. The photo series is expressed with no emotion- in order to show fact. Many people are shocked when they see the photos, but soon become curious. Much of society is appalled yet secretly attracted to death, and tries to avoid dealing with it as much as possible. Palmer's project allowed him to get closer to his family.

These articles were relatively different. The first one discussed the difficulty for a woman to work in the funeral industry, and the second focused on the uncomfortable aspect of the care of the dead. They both discussed really interesting aspects for this unit, but I think the focus lies mainly on the emotional difficulty that people have when caring for the dead.

I did my interview with my friend Sophia at Riverdale Funeral Home. We spoke to Jim, the office manager. He takes care of family needs and has to think logically as well as realistically to help families get what they want. Riverdale Funeral Home is a family-owned operation, which creates a sense of warmth, and sometimes their clients know someone in the family which can provide more comfort for the family. He said that a lot of families opt for cremation, but that when there is a body burial, the home requires embalming. But touching on a more personal note, he said that he has to separate his emotions for different places. He compared his work experience as an English teacher to his current job; while he's comfortable with his co-workers, he needs to suppress certain emotions at work. At home, same thing, just different things need to be suppressed. Overall to me, Jim seems to handle himself pretty well at work, and I hope that the same goes for at home.

HW 49 - Comments on Best of Your Break HW

Comments I made:

John: 
I thought that you discussed some really interesting and strong points in this assignment. If I were to take a guess, I’d say that religion/spirituality has an extreme effect on care of the dead. I thought it peculiar (in a good way) that you focused more on the emotions associated with belief systems and death, but that it did stray away from this unit (it ties a lot into illness and dying but not so much care of the dead).
My favorite line from this post was probably, “This black void the non religious pool”. I personally found it a beautiful line to read. But, your strongest paragraph was your conclusion. I think that connecting what you learned from your peers to your personal beliefs was a really good way to end the post.
There were just a few grammar/spelling mistakes which made some parts strange to read, but overall, really good analysis.

Lucas:

I liked that your intro paragraph told the reader what to expect to learn from the post. I thought that all of the ideas flowed really well.
I did think that you could have pulled some more powerful insights from your interviews but adding some analysis and your own personal preference.
One part I think you could have elaborated more on was "it seems more natural to honor and remember the deceased as they lived". I personally thought that this was an interesting way to see death, and that you could have analyzed it deeper.
Overall your post was really good though.


Comments on my Blog:  
Lucas:

While I'm sure that the interviews were interesting at the time, I don't really feel like either you or I learned very much from them. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes the best texts are ones that don't tell you something new, but organize concepts you were already familiar with in ways that you were not able to before. I enjoy reading books that are set up like this because they help me flesh out my own thoughts.


Your paragraph on emotion was a good start in asking pertinent questions, the topic of emotion related to death is definitely worth writing about in a later paper/project. I think we are all subconsciously afraid of death, as you said. I think this is because biologically we are driven to avoid death throughout our lives; by eating, drinking, reproducing and so on. What good would your body be if it didn't strive to stave off death at every opportunity? If only my super was as vigilant with water leaks as the human body is with disease -__- 

Dad:
You mention that the general consensus seemed to be that people wanted to be cremated, even your friend who had a spot waiting for her in a family plot, preferring the “back to nature-y and freeing option”. I feel the same way, opting for cremation. That “freeing option” is coming to terms with the finality of life as we know it. They are one with nature, as opposed to the hope some people have via cryogenics, that there’s always that outside chance that somehow life can be prolonged or regenerated.

H didn’t want people to cry. You wondered whether there was some sort of subconscious fear of death. I don’t think it’s fear. I think and agree as you point out it is the idea that you will never interact with that person ever again.  

John:
Your final paragraph was very strong; I liked your inquiry on crying, something that seems obvious because we encounter it all the time yet I’ve never put much thought into why. A question that probably can’t be answered by us, but it still is important to ask those questions. Questions we may never find the answers to but appreciate that we don’t have an answer, rather than make up our own dumb answer or excuse and pretend we know something we definitely do not.
Your interviewees didn’t seem to help much besides developing that one strong inquiry you had. This might be for a number of reasons, one being those you interviewed like many don’t know too much on how they view death, another might be just that you have dull interviewees, but what do I know.
Another strong post,
john   

HW 50 - First Third of Care of the Dead Book Post

Stiff

Mary Roach

Published 2004, New York, NY

There are many different ways for corpses to be handled. People are going to find my book disrespectful. At the face lift/anatomy refresher course I'm observing, there are about forty heads, partial neck included, sitting in drip pans on lavender clothed tables. Lavender was chosen because it can be soothing to doctors who become disgusted by the cadaver's head that they're working on. Surgeons benefit from opportunities like this, but sometimes it's hard to find body parts to work with. Ronn Wade is trying to change the system to surgeons have more access to body parts. If surgeons want to practice a technique, they form a group, call Wade, and pay him for the lab and cadavers. Surgeons are rarely given practice opportunities because learning in school is similar to the experience of an apprenticeship- they learn their techniques from observing and then trying. The technique of observing to learn is similar to the operating theaters used in the nineteenth century. Bransby Cooper preformed a bladder stone removal on Stephen Pollard. There was no anesthesia because it wasn't used during surgery until 1846. The tools Cooper was using were ineffective, so he stuck his finger into the open wound, and with no luck, measured his finger length to those of the men observing him. Eventually the stone was removed and Pollard went to bed, but he died of an infection in just over a day. I asked one of the surgeons I'm observing if she's going to donate her body when she dies. She tells me no, reasoning that some surgeons aren't as respectful of the cadavers as they could be. 

Herophilius, the "father of anatomy", was the first physician to dissect human bodies. Soon his dissections moved on to live criminals. Using executed criminals for dissection carried over to the the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries in Britain.

Quotes:

"Being dead is absurd. It's the silliest situation you'll ever find yourself in. Your limbs are floppy and uncooperative. Your mouth hangs open. Being dead is unsightly and stinky and embarrassing, and there's not a damn thing to be done about it." (11)

"For most physicians, objectification is mastered their first year of medical school" (21)

"When you take a photograph of a patient for a medical journal, you have the patient sign a release. The dead can't refuse to sign releases, but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't want to. This is why cadavers in photographs...have black bars over their eyes" (32)

"You do not question an author who appears on the title page as "T.V.N. Persaud, M.D., Ph.D., D.Sc., F.R.C.Path. (Lond.), F.F.Path. (R.C.P.I.), F.A.C.O.G."(53)

"The people of the 1800s seemed to feel that burial culminated in a fate less ghastly than that of dissection". (57)

While reading I began to think more and more about the respect that people have for the dead. These thoughts came on because a lot of the first chapters focused on ethics. Different things effect different people. I found it interesting when one of the surgeons told Mary that she wouldn't donate her body to study because some doctors take pictures of their cadavers. I thought, of all things to find disrespectful; a photo? A cadaver no longer has a conscience and can no longer make a decision, but when they did have a conscience, they made the decision to donate their body. Along with their donation might come photos of their body- not necessarily for pleasure, but for learning. Another "aspect" of respect that I thought about was that after death, people are somewhat idolized. I don't mean that they become some martyr for a cause or a new religious symbol; the people who cared for them during their life begin to talk about all of the amazing things that they had done in their life. If you've ever sat in on a memorial service or a funeral, people decorate their deceased loved ones with words of praise and glory. Once in a while there'll be someone slightly honest enough to say "____, while stubborn...." and will add a little something negative to their spiel. I realize that this part of analysis sort of took away from the main objective of the book, but I still believe that respect is an important part of what Roach is projecting through her book.

HW 48 - Family Perspectives on the Care of the Dead

Before this assignment, I never actually knew what my parents wanted to happen to their bodies when they die. Maybe it was for them to "protect" me from thinking about death. Both of my parents want to be cremated after death. My mom said that she thought the idea of rotting away in a box wasn't too pleasant. She'd rather have her ashes scattered in parts of Hawaii where she and my dad went for their honeymoon. My dad said that he's not too sure but he'd want them spread somewhere in the U.S. so it would be easier for me to do it. He said that "getting through customs in other countries with a box of ashes is probably a very difficult task to complete". My mom didn't really touch on previous family members' deaths, but my dad talked about his parent's remains. Both of them wanted their bodies donated for scientific study. His dad passed first, and his body got "lost", so our family never got his ashes back. With my grandmother's body, "there was a paper trail to follow, so it made the entire process easier on us".

***To be continued

HW 47 - Peer Perspectives on the Care of the Dead

When interviewing some friends about the current unit "Care of the Dead", I found that there was a general sense of uncomfortableness. One of my friends, S, said, "This topic is weird". Maybe I didn't approach the conversation correctly; simply asking "Can I interview you?", without telling them what our conversation would be about. Nonetheless I learned some interesting things about some of my friends. S, a longtime friend, actually already has an after death plan, "I already have a plot with my family in a cemetery". Later in our conversation she mentioned that she has thought about cremation though, and would want her ashes spread out. I asked her why, "No real reason, but it seems like the most loving and back to nature-y and freeing option I guess". Actually, the consistent answer amongst my interviewees was that they wanted to be cremated. H and SM thought that the idea of their remains sitting in a box underground was creepy. H went on to say that she would want her friends and family to gather at some point after her death and just talk, "When my uncle died, my whole family needed to just let it out. It's important because a lot of people are isolated, and grief is often better expressed in groups of people. Gathering helps to relieve stress or anger or whatever a person may be feeling, because they have a chance to let it all out". 


Another interesting thing that H and I discussed was that she didn't want people to cry. "It seems kinda stupid. Like, I appreciate they're upset about me through crying, but that sort of thing happens. You can be upset, but just don't make a huge scene out of it just for a show. be happy that I at least got some time to live my life and interact with people". This sparked a general question in my head; why do people cry when someone dies? I wonder if there is some sort of subconscious fear of death that is ignited when they are faced with the death of someone they knew well. Yes, the crying probably also has to do with the fact that a person will never interact with their dead loved one again (unless they believe in certain paths after life), but there is more to human emotion than meets the eye. 

HW 46 - Initial Thoughts on the Care of the Dead

The other day I turned to my friend Kady and said, "If I were to die, I'd want you to throw a party". I'm not sure where the initial thought came from, I don't think we were even talking about death. She looked at me confused and said, "What, are you planning on dying anytime soon?". I explained to her that I wasn't, but that the idea of a celebration seemed nice. Instead of associating death with sorrow, we could associate death with happiness. This conversation reminded me of when Beth came in to speak to us. I remember that she mentioned that instead of having a sad funeral for Erik, they celebrated his life with friends and family. That sounded nice to me.

My general belief in what should happen to bodies once death has taken place, is that bodies should be treated with care, with no alteration, unless otherwise specified by the subject's will, and whether the body is cremated or buried is up to the "loved ones". I personally would probably like to be buried. I have nothing against cremation, I think that spreading someone's ashes can actually be a beautiful ritual, but I don't think that there's any place I'd want my ashes spread.

During class I said this wouldn't be a hard unit to do. I think I lied. This wont be hard for me emotionally, but it's a tough subject to work through. I can't even get my first thoughts down. My mind just keeps jumping from subject to possible subject, and I don't know where to begin. There are so many different subjects of possible examination; funeral homes, cremation, religious rituals, the cost. 

Some questions I have left over after all of this thinking:

- What are some rituals practiced in other countries surrounding the care of the dead?
- Why do we bury our dead? Why do we cremate them?
- How does cremation work?
- Are coffins completely sealed?
- Six feet under- any other specific reasons other than stench?

HW 44 - Comments on Other People's Projects

Comments I made:
Sophia: 
Your work focused on the question "Why do people choose to have children or not?". This was a unique subject that we did not examine in class and I thought that it was nice to hear about a new perspective of birth. Your project mattered to me because I think about the future a lot and whether or not I'll have children.

I think to further your project you could have gotten a little more "personal" and maybe interviewed your parents or something on the subject.

Great job! 

Lucas:
Your project involved you visiting 2 hospitals as well as interviewing Hunter students.

I had the privilege of seeing your video with audio, and there is most definitely a difference in the two experiences. I thought that your project was unique, which I enjoyed. The interviews you did were my favorite part because they are what I can relate to the most. When we started this unit I didn't have a complete grasp on pregnancy and birth, just like the people you interviewed.

I think that to improve this project, you could write a bit about your video.

Nice work!  
****Note that there was no text when I wrote the comment

Naima:
The courses you described sounded amazing. I liked that your focus was on becoming a doula/being a part of birth because it relates to things we talked about in class, but hearing what your aunt had to say was a new point of view. I actually considered going through doula training for my project as well, but I didn't know how well it would turn out without the actual training (since the next available session was in May).
Your project though, came out really well and I think that the interview/your personal connection (step-mother) really added extra emotion into the project which I feel is a hard thing to do when such a stiff word (in my opinion) like "project" is being used.

I hope to hear more about your training and your perspective on your step-mother's birth experience  

Comments on my Blog:  

Andy:
After a sweet personal opening story you focused on some peer reactions to the practice of adoption by same-sex couples.
This topic matters to me because it feels like it touches the heart of whether GLB folks will be allowed to be full members of the community (abstract) and also because I've met some wonderful GLB parents (relational). From a different than usual angle your topic addresses one of the essential issues in our sexual politics - should gay love be treated as poisonous or as beautiful - should GLB people be considered valuable and good and healthy or sick and toxic and evil?

I would have appreciated more from you on this topic. More interviews - GLB parents work in our building and send their children to our building. GLB students attend our school and some plan to parent.

More follow-up - did Casey feel mixed or not? Did Abdul have more reasons for his stance and did those reasons seem coherent to him and to you? (BTW - be careful about labelling people on the blog - "homophobic" sounds very pejorative - although it might (or might not) be accurate it doesn't make sense to focus negative attention from the WWW on a classmate. Please edit this.)

More research - what governmental and adoption agency policies currently impede or support adoption by GLB people? What organizations and efforts currently focus on this topic and how can we help them?

Thank you for your work.

Sophia:
You started with a personal story and then interviewed people on their thoughts regarding same-sex adoption. I liked how you explained your earlier confusion about the subject - this made it clear why you chose to investigate this particular topic. Your research and interviews matter to me because they highlight differing opinions - someone said that the child might be affected if they didn't have a role model of gender, but your research implies that this wouldn't matter, the child would be fine. One thing you could have done was interview a same sex couple, or the adopted child of a same sex couple, to get their perspective.

Lucas:
I think your project has a very good base question, and I don't really think GLB couples should be treated differently from heterosexual couples when it comes to parenting and birth, besides the changes that I think should apply to everyone, such as a reduction in doctor-managed hospital births in favor of more home births.

I think a possible improvement could have been to interview more people, but other than that I think it was very good.

Do GLB even have to mention their sexual orientation when adopting? If so, do you think it should be allowed? It almost seems like a predisposition towards discrimination.

Beatrice:
Hi Elizabeth. I liked how you started off with anecdote about your childhood friends with same sex parents, good transition in to your topic.

I find this this topic interesting because I too believe gay couples should be allowed to adopt (and get married).

One thing you could've done to improve your project would be to have done more research and used more statistics and maybe quotes from psychologists or more relevant matter than just your points of view.

All in all good work!  
 

Dad:
This is the kind of topic that can stimulate endless conversation, both pro and con. While it’s been awhile since they were your schoolmates, it might have been interesting, time permitting, to contact Hanna and Ella and get some feedback about their lives today. It’s interesting how your current classmates could have such differing points of view, one so positive and one so negative. One of my best friends growing up has no tolerance for anything other than “conventional, normal” lifestyles and yet we continue to be good friends. As you might imagine, when we get together it makes for interesting conversation.

Sara B (10th Grader @ different school):
I liked how you opened your post with your first impression of same-sex households. This was especially relatable for me because I remember Ella and her 2 dads! Then you went on to discuss what peers think now, providing an interesting contrast to when you're younger and simply confused.

M brings up an interesting point about kids being raised by same-sex couples not having a role model from the other gender, but I guess instead comes more openess to what may be considered nontraditional. I also read once that same-sex couples tend to have a more equal distribution of doing work around the house (cooking, dishes, laundry, etc) which may or may not have an effect on the child.

Either way, I agree with your conclusion that adopted kids of same-sex couples can certainly turn out alright, if not better :)

Sarah M:

Your topic on same-sex adoption was one that I hadn't seen in anyone else's projects. Your interviews with two different points of view allowed some light to be shed on how people think. While it was a pretty small amount of interviewees, I think people can still get a sense of why because of your clarifications or inner monologue throughout the essay. I alos enjoyed the way you started off the piece. It sounded really cool and grabbed my attention quickly.

John:
Your project description immediately engaged the reader giving me a very vivid image of your own childhood and how the project relates to your own experiences and interests. your body paragraphs review your field research with some statistical background and your own analysis of why its important. what i liked was how you were immediately able to grab my attention on a topic that normally id be a bit uneasy to talk about. i think your conclusion was done well to give the reader i way to interpret the data how she wishes and indicating a conclusion but keeping it safe because of the lack of field research. which brings me to what i think you should improve on, your summary of data was great and i think if you were to have a deeper analysis by getting more field research that would be optimal. i am ofcoarse aware that the time was too limited to have many interviews done that are meaningful. thanks for the post i enjoyed reading it.

HW 42 - Pregnancy & birth culminating project

When I was in elementary school, I had a friend named Hannah. She had the coolest house to play hide-and-seek in and one of those ceiling fans with giant fake crayons for propellers. But something was different about Hannah. She had two mothers, and was darker skinned than both of them. This confused me. I always pictured families as mommy, daddy, and baby. Never mommy, mommy, and baby. I also had a friend named Ella. Unlike Hannah, she had two dads. I was quite confused so I asked my mom why Hannah and Ella didn't have a mommy and a daddy, and why neither of them looked like their mommies or daddies. She told me that Hannah's moms loved each other and Hannah, and Ella's dads loved each other and Ella, and that love was what mattered in a family. 

I interviewed a few people on the topic of same-sex adoption to see what people understood about it and what they believed about it. One person, who will be called K, began by saying, "you can interview me, but I don't know much about the topic. I don't know that it's very common". I found that interesting because, in fact, there are at least 10 million children being raised in gay or lesbian households (6). K went on to tell me that she believes that gay people should have the right to adopt because, "disallowing people to adopt can only make a situation worse" because then there would be more children without loving households. She also said that just because a child is raised in a homosexual household, the parents aren't going to teach the child to be gay if that's something people are worried about. But getting into more depth, our conversation moved into the idea of a normal family. "Sometimes I guess people see marriage as the bond between a man and  woman, and in order to have children, they should be married; so that could be another issue". But overall, K was very supportive of homosexual adoption.


On the other hand, I interviewed another classmate, A. Our interview started bluntly, "Do you believe that gay couples should be allowed to adopt children?" 
"No."
"Okay, but why?"
"Because they're gay,"
"And why is it bad for a child to be raised in a homosexual household?"
Hearing our conversation, another classmate, M, joined in, "Maybe because the child wouldn't have a role model for each gender. They might not have a father or mother figure to look up to, and maybe that's an important component of childhood". A immediately agreed and said, "yeah, that's it. Are we done?"

I approached a few other people in hopes to interview them, but no such luck. They either said that they didn't know anything about adoption or they were too busy. I'd like to further this project by delving more into the legalities of same-sex adoption. I can't really come to a powerful conclusion based off of the two interviews I've done, but from my own personal experiences as well as minor research on the subject, I am confident that a child growing up in a same-sex household will be just as, if not more, successful than a child raised in a mother-father environment.

Bibliography

1. "Placing Children." Adoption Statistics. Adoption Statistics, 2011. Web. 3 Apr 2011. . 

2. "Ethics of Adoption Financing ." Child Welfare Information Gateway. U.S. Dept. Health Services, n.d. Web. 3 Apr 2011 . 

3. "PEAR Statement on Families for Orphans Act." (2010): 1-8. Web. 

4. "Pros and Cons of Adoption." Child Adoption Matters. Child Adoption Matters, 2010. Web. 1 Apr 2011.

5. "Same Sex Adoption." Child Adoption Matters. Child Adoption Matters, 2010. Web. 1 Apr 2011. 

6. "Gay & Lesbian Adoption Rights." Love and Pride (2008). http://www.loveandpride.com/informationcenter/tips.aspx?categoryid=7 

HW 41 - Independent Research

Adoption Research

Annotated Bibliography

"PEAR Statement on Families for Orphans Act." (2010): 1-8. Web. 

Parents for Ethical Adolescents (PEAR)'s opposed the Families for Orphans Act (FFOA). The organization opposes it because it incorporates more money and government into the adoption system. The main idea is that it is wrong to add incentives to adoption because it will encourage families to adopt not out of love, but for profit. The main concern from PEAR is that rather than improving the current adoption system, the FFOA would simply make it even harder for children to find safe and loving homes. 

"Pros and Cons of Adoption." Child Adoption Matters. Child Adoption Matters, 2010. Web. 1 Apr 2011.

Read: 
PEAR Statement on Families for Orphans Act
Families for Orphans Act (FFOA)

********Incomplete*************

HW 40 - Insights from Book - Part 3

I seem to have found myself at a cocktail party, when in walks Marsden Wagner, the author of the book, Born In the USA, which coincidentally, I have just finished reading.

Elizabeth:

Hey there Dr. Wagner!

Marsden Wagner: 

Pardon me, but, do I know you?

Elizabeth:

No, but I just finished reading your book, Born in the USA, which I really enjoyed. Your main idea that the current system we use in America is more harmful than healthy made me think differently about the current status of our maternity system.

Wagner, surprised to be talking to someone who actually rephrased the main idea of the text instead of sharing their own birth story, replies curiously. 

 Wagner:

Really? Which parts were most effective or important for you?

Elizabeth:

Well, in the last third of the book you focused on methods to change the flaws in the maternity system, which further developed your thesis. You suggested many different solutions, but the three most realistic ones, in my opinion, were from pages 220, 240, and 242  where you mention educating the public, improving public health, and following the money.

At this point, Marsden has realized that he's having a unique conversation with a serious reader of his book.

Marsden:

But what could I have done to make this book so that it would more effectively fulfill its mission and to be all around better?

Elizabeth:

Well, your text sought to provide a system analysis from the perspective of what one would consider an expert in the subject, so the book-reading-public could better understand the maternity system in our culture. Given that aim, and your book, the best advice I would give for a 2nd edition of the text would be to rethink the solutions you provide in the book. While I do believe that you have created valid arguments as to why policies and standards need to change, I do think that some of your solutions contradict one another. 

Marsden:

How so?

Elizabeth:

Well, one of the solutions you mention is to create coalitions, but at the same time you mention that governmental standards need to be reformed. But they don't completely conflict one another.  I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing, I genuinely appreciate the immense amount of labor you dedicated to this important issue. But most particularly for making me think more about the immense influence that money and politics have on the United States maternity system and the general safety- both physically and mentally- of mothers, children, midwives, and families has been heavily disregarded. In fact, as a result of reading your book, I'm likely to have a home birth of my own in the future, unless the system changes in favor of a more natural birth. 

Marsden:

Thanks! Talking to you gives me hope about our future as a society!

HW 39 - Insights from Book - Part 2

 Wagner, Marsden. Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First. Univ of California Pr, 2008. Print. 

While comparing The Business of Being Born and Born in the USA, I've found that the main difference between the two is the audience for which each medium is aimed. The Business of Being Born focuses heavily on the emotional aspect of pregnancy/birth whereas Born in the USA incorporates the emotional and business sides of the maternity system. The chapters I've most recently read were about midwives and legalities. This part of the book relates heavily to The Business of Being Born (TBBB) because they both fixate on midwives. The difference is that Born in the USA (BUSA) examines and gives examples of legal cases in which "the good guys" have been direct targets of the maternity care system. I personally enjoy watching TBBB more than reading BUSA because it's much more engaging. BUSA does have some really good information and touching stories to share, but I feel that the setup which they are given creates a strong unintrest for the reader. Example, on page 143 of the book, the reader is given a boatload of percentages and numbers and basically have to create an image in their head of how the data would be set up. I personally had to read over it 5 times to get the general idea of how the numbers would look next to one another, but I can hardly imagine that every single reader re-reads things they understand. In fact, normally I'd probably skim it and tell myself that the context would help me understand it. But the context didn't. And anything that came afterwords didn't really help to explain what the data meant. (Would put in quote but it takes up a full 1/2 page).

The second part of BUSA forces the idea that midwives are generally (not always, there was some counter-evidence) better birth-helpers due to emotional as well as health factors. I feel as though giving birth with a midwife would in fact be the best experience for giving birth. It seems much more emotional and not as sterile as hospital birth. Through my reading I've created a sort of mindset that doctors don't care about the patient, they simply care about the money, and how to make it fast.

HW 38 - Insights from book - part 1

Born In The USA

Marsden Wagner, M.D., M.S.

In Born In The USA, there are 9 chapters, each providing a new argument/reasoning behind the thesis. The first four chapters focus on the nightmarish aspects of maternity. I haven't read past chapter four, but from looking at the table of contents, it will most likely be another nightmarish chapter, but will also provide alternatives to the current system.

The major question the book is trying to answer is somewhere along the lines of "what is bad in the current US maternity system, and what can be done to change these things". So far, from what I've learned, I think a lot of what is wrong with the system are the doctors. They are so scared of a malpractice lawsuit that cesarean section is becoming the "easy way out". 

Chapter one is on the current state of maternity care, the second provides insight into the close-knit world of doctors, and the third is about surgery being incorporated into birth. The general thesis is most likely that the current maternity system is so heavily based around the hospital experience that people are losing sight into the process of giving birth.

One aspect of birth that deserves public recognition is that obstetrician aren't present during labor, but they rush in at the last moment, to help bring the baby out. They'll make money no matter what, but it shows that there is an impersonal connection between a pregnant woman and her doctor. 

Something else that disgusted me was that when a doctor is faced with a malpractice lawsuit, most doctors will not testify against them because it could mean losing referrals from other doctors, therefore losing money. 

Another thing that really riles up the author of this book, Marsden Wagner, is Cytotec. Cytotec is a drug that can be used to induce labor, but it's use has resulted in death. 

One idea that is heavily pounded into the readers' heads is that surgeons are not scientists. Surgeons are trained to cut, remove, replace, etc. and can be more useful in situations not involving birth, which generally hasn't involved scalpels, scissors, and forceps.

The evidence in this book pulls from many sources; the writer's personal experience with medical training and practice, charts, statistics and real-life stories/examples. The entire book is basically composed using mainly evidence, mainly through stories and a a few tables thrown in here and there. I think that while some of the points that are being made in this book are interesting, a lot of it is repeated in different forms of evidence... not that it's bad to back up arguments with evidence, but sometimes the reader can get sick of hearing the same idea said over and over again but in different ways. 
A lot of the numerical evidence seems reliable because it is cited either in text or in the index. I've flipped through the index, which is actually a little helpful in telling the reader what is generally found in each source. 

HW 37 Comments on Birth & Pregnancy Stories

Comments I made:
Lucas:

I really enjoyed reading this post. Overall you did a great job. But I think you did best at keeping the stories informative yet short (a problem I faced in writing my assignment).

One of the only things I could think of changing would be the placement of this section, "Women who have miscarriages sometimes blame themselves for the event, wondering if every little event was the one that caused it. It can be psychologically devastating, and is hard to deal with without therapy. This link was somewhat informative on the topic". The reason for this is because that paragraph was a narrative, not research or response. I would have started off the next paragraph with a bit of rephrasing like, "Through research on (link here), I discovered that women who have miscarriages sometimes blame themselves for the event, wondering if every little event was the one that caused it. It can be psychologically devastating, and is hard to deal with without therapy".

Otherwise, good job!

P.S. I appreciate your sophisticated yet easy to read writing style.  

John:
Hey John,

I think that the first topic you'd like to explore further is a really interesting one (what are the reasons for marriage and birth to be so interconnected in our society?). Another thing that I liked was that in your response paragraph, you talked about society and then compared society's standards back to Tom and Jackie.

One thing I'd suggest is proofreading your work. There were a few minor grammar mistakes that you would have noticed i you'd combed through your work. Another benefit from proofreading is that you could probably see room for expansion and, by doing so, add some more "beauty" to your work.

Good Job! 

Comments on my Blog:
John:
Elizabeth!
Your interviews were interesting and you presented each one with something of a narrative arc, different from mine which is something i think i could work on. the details were the most nice spice, like how the doctor made threats and the nurse was incompetant. the one that struck me the most was the first interviewee only got offered a seat twice on the train in those 9 months, maybe my social obligations are more different than i thought than of others. im curious to know what neighborhood she would get off and on. another thing i also liked was how i could also very easily follow your thought process which almost made me feel im not alone at night looking at a computer reading someones blog. thanks for the stories,

John 

Lucas: 
Elizabeth,
Your interviews and their resulting analysis were very interesting to read; I found the part in which the doctor threatened your mother with a C-section particularly so, I wonder if doctors can legally perform such an operation under the given conditions (i.e. lack of consent). What do you think caused the 'superstitions' your grandmother had in relation to not buying baby items out of fear of essentially 'jinxing it'? Could it be a personal belief, or perhaps a cultural one?

I also kind of want to know the answer to the beer = milk question, it sounds worthy of investigation...

Nice post!

-Lucas  

Sara B (10th Grader @ different school):
Elizabeth -
I enjoyed very much reading what you wrote! It was interesting to read about different perspectives on pregnancy and birth stories, especially because the topic is so intimate and personal. I particularly was struck by when the first interviewee said she was only offered a seat on the subway twice throughout her whole pregnancy, despite riding it twice a day. You phrased it as this happened for 9 months, but women don't even start showing until later on in the pregnancy. Also, people can't always tell when someone's pregnant especially with coats on. Still, you'd think someone would notice, but maybe I just don't like the idea that our society is that inconsiderate. In terms of my own life, this post made me think about how I should find out about my own mother and grandmother's birth experience. You seem to have uncovered some funny details too, (like the myth beer = milk) and gained a better understanding of what it means to be pregnant. And of course it's interesting to think about what it means about society from way we treat pregnant people. Overall, I'm glad I read this post and heard all these interesting stories!

Sara B. :) 

 
Dad:
My reaction to your interviews, one of which was with me, is that I also found your grandmother’s comments most interesting. The most fascinating line was her comment about how drinking beer produces more breast milk. I had to laugh. I had never ever heard that before.

Given that your grandmother came from a different generation, it was interesting to see her perspective on pregnancy versus my point of view. I understood the superstitious aspect. I was surprised to learn that none of the pregnancies were planned. One thing that holds true even today is that people always want to touch the belly. To me it’s an invasion of one’s personal space. But people just seem to think it’s an accepted norm, as if they don’t even have to ask.

You indicate that it surprised you that I took such an interest in children, a notion I would guess that is normally associated with women. I think that comes from my father, who participated quite a lot in raising me, probably more than other fathers in the neighborhood. It was something I realized after I was well out of my teens; how lucky I had both a mother as well as a father who took an interest in my well being. I came to appreciate the experience I had with them. Some of my friends growing up were not as fortunate, coming from single parent homes and/or abusive environments. My parents set an example for me to follow. How well I carry on in the same tradition remains to be seen. As the saying goes, only time will tell.  

  

HW 36 - Pregnancy & Birth Stories

Interview 1
My first interview was with a woman who asked me to keep her identity private. I began by asking her how pregnancy effected her physically. She started by talking about the different stages of pregnancy. Her first trimester was easy, and the pregnancy only got difficult in the last three months. "Physically it wasn't that bad in the beginning, as the pregnancy progressed, the baby began to press on my internal organs...especially my bladder". Her changing body size presented a few minor challenges; "It was really hard to find sophisticated/work maternity clothing, my shoe size went up half a size, and I couldn't see my feet". Another obstacle her pregnancy brought was finding comfortable positions i.e. sleeping.

Then our conversation moved into the area of labor/giving birth. "Giving birth was not particularly pleasant...The waiting was bad". She went into labor on a Saturday night and didn't give birth until Sunday evening. I asked her how she had prepared for birth during her pregnancy. She had taken Lamaze classes with her husband. "All the training goes out the window when the baby actually comes...it was hard to focus on Lamaze breathing and exercises during the actual process of giving birth. I don't remember the pain but I remember that it was painful".

Next, we discussed other people's reactions to her pregnancy. "At work we didn't really discuss my pregnancy. I wanted to keep things professional; people think that become you're pregnant, you're less efficient at what you do. I worked up until the day before I went into labor". I asked her if strangers were interested in her pregnancy. She couldn't recall any encounters but she did remember that she was offered a seat on the subway twice in her 9 month pregnancy, during which she took the subway twice a day.  

"I remember thinking I was vaguely embarassed when I first started showing" She had gone through one unsuccessful pregnancy so she waited about three months before she told people she was pregnant. One thing that embarrassed her was that when she would tell someone "I'm pregnant", in her mind it would translate to "I had sex".
We also went over why she had a child. She said it was mainly because her husband so desperately wanted kids. But because of the pain, and the postpartum depression she developed after giving birth, she hasn't had any more children. 

Interview 2: Dad 

For this interview, I talked to my dad. I started by asking him simply how my mother's pregnancy effected him. He said that it could be unnerving at times to think about the pregnancy, "It kept me on my toes. I became very aware of being concerned about her welfare, because it wasn't just about her it was about you too". 

I asked him how he and my mom prepared for the birth. "We put together a bag that we could take out at the last minute, because we didn't know when labor could start. We thought through multiple plans of action because we were concerned about taking above ground transportation during winter". They also made a list of all of the people they wanted to call when my mom went into labor so they wouldn't forget anyone. He made sure he brought a camera because he wanted to take pictures, but my mom insisted that there not be a video camera because she didn't want the birth on tape.

I asked him to describe the hospital experience. "When we arrived, and were admitted to the room, there was a nurse that I can best describe as 'completely incompetent'. She couldn't set up an IV drip; she kept jabbing your mother without hitting the vein properly. I sought out the head nurse and screamed at her that 'my wife is not a pin cushion, I want someone to do the job, and do it right'. There was enough pain and she didn't need this nonsense". Apparently the doctor was "mean-spirted"; he essentially threatened my mom while she was giving birth, "He threatened to give her a C-section if she didn't push harder, which was the last thing she wanted. But i think he had to act that way to get your mother to not prolong the process". 

During our discussion he also said that "The funniest part of the birth was the fact that your mother, the NEW nurse, and I were all watching the marathon, and the runner took the wrong road to the finish line, so all three of us started screaming "go back go back go back" and then we all realized, "oh yeah, we're having a baby".

The part of the entire experience which stuck with him most was when the doctor pulled me out and held me upside down. He turned to hand me over to the nurse and in the process put my face inches from my dad's. "You were just screaming. Your face was purplish. I counted your fingers and toes to make sure you were all there. Then they placed you under a heating lamp and your skin started to look normal...The moment when you and I came face to face is something that will stick with me forever; it's exciting unique and one of a kind, and it's mine".  

The most difficult question for him to answer was the why. I asked him why he wanted to have children. "I think my reason is a many reason people have children, and this is selfish, but they want someone who is a part of them to carry on; someone who is a unique being; a product of two other beings. Kids are fun. Kids let us be kids again, through them". 


Interview 3: Grandma
My grandmother was still working as an assistant principal when she became pregnant with her first child. She told me that she "was not prepared for being nauseated", and that sometimes she would have to run back to her office and wait for a long time before she could get back to working. I asked her how she prepared for the birth, "I was superstitious about buying anything for the coming baby in case anything bad happened. The only thing I picked out was a crib, but my mother was going to buy it for us". But, she did get lucky in the supply department because the "godparents owned a baby clothing store and brought everything" when the baby was born.
Next, I asked her about how other people effected her pregnancy. "People always want to touch the belly, and there's really no way to stop them". She also said that she didnt know too much about nutrition because she was relatively thin at the time, and the only piece of "nutritional" advice she was given was that "after birth, drinking beer makes more milk for the baby". 
My final question was "Why did you decide to have children?". She said, "none of the babies were planned... there was no real concious decision". And actually when the third baby came along, she felt that she wasn't prepared, and was thinking about having an abortion. This was because the first two children were only twenty months apart and she felt that she couldn't handle a third child. "But my mother came to help, so it was okay". 

Overall Reflection
The first interview interested me because I thought it was peculiar that she was essentially ashamed of being pregnant at the beginning. I've always considered to be a positive experience in a woman's life. I think that maybe because she didn't necessarily have a want for children, pressure was added for her to live up to other people's standards. The second interview was interesting because I've always wondered what a man thinks about pregnancy. I thought it interesting that a man was more interested in having children than a woman. I think that because the woman had such high working standards, she didn't want a baby to interfere with work. This brought up a question for me, "are babies more important than working?". I thought about this because as organisms, our goal in life is essentially reproduce, isn't it? But, overall the most interesting conversation was with my grandma. I thought that the birth myth she talked about was really funny, and I thought it would be interesting to further explore and compare myths from now and "way back when".

After having these three  conversations, I would like to explore the "myths" behind birth and pregnancy. (i.e. beer=more breast-milk). 

*All people interviewed gave permission for their identities to be revealed except for interview 1