We look out the window to the hill in the yard; the snow is rapidly layering over the dead summer grass. She grips the edge of the kitchen table with one hand, the other on her walker; arms tensed. My arms go out in immediate reaction just in case she falls. She pushes herself up from the leather chair grunting a little, "umpf". She steadies herself and uses her walker to move about 8 feet to the sink. She begins to wash the dishes. She has a routine; fill a bowl part way with hot water, add dish-soap, add cool water, rinse. I offer to help her, but she doesn't hear. I stand up, "You know, I can do that for you", she replies, rather loudly, "No, it's okay, it gives me something to do".
"It gives me something to do". I thought about what I could have been doing at that moment. I could have been sledding, building a snowman, or going for a walk in the snow. I thought about what she could have been doing at that moment. She could have been reading her newspaper...oh wait but that wasn't delivered due to the snow. Well she could have been watching the news...oh wait, she did that already today. Well she could go through old items in the storage room; oh wait, that's downstairs.
I shrug and say okay and leave the kitchen. I go downstairs to my room; listening to the scratching of the walker on the kitchen's linoleum flooring. Later, I hear her mumbling to herself, as the alarm for the drier goes off, so I go back upstairs to see if I can help. She hesitates, and opens the drier door. She leans down, not responding to me, and begins to take clothing out. She stands up and straightens her body, a little out of breath, and says, "you can do the rest, put my clothing on my bed and towels on the railing; I'll take them downstairs later". She holds the counter top and turns her walker around. I ask her, "Do you want me to just take them down for you?". "No, I need to make a trip down there later".
I thought about one of the big ideas of Tuesdays With Morrie; Morrie had a hard time 'letting go', he was scared to let other people take care of and do routine tasks for him. Morrie never gave into his illness, but gradually, he learned how to accept the fact that there were some things he just couldn't do for himself anymore, and someone else was going to step in and do it for him.
I thought about one of the big ideas of Tuesdays With Morrie; Morrie had a hard time 'letting go', he was scared to let other people take care of and do routine tasks for him. Morrie never gave into his illness, but gradually, he learned how to accept the fact that there were some things he just couldn't do for himself anymore, and someone else was going to step in and do it for him.
I thought the best part of your post was the first paragraph - there was a lot of detail and depth to it. I also liked how you told part of the story, and then reflected on it, and then told the rest, and then reflected on it again.
ReplyDeleteI identified with the idea about people needing something to do. It reminded me of my grandfather, who has heart problems (so he can't do much without getting tired), but still tries to do things for himself.
This also goes back to the part in Tuesdays With Morrie, when Morrie decides that he doesn't want to feel bad that he needs help doing simple everyday tasks. He viewed it as a good thing, whereas most people are different - they like to be able to take care of themselves.
The part I liked best from your post was: "I could have been sledding, building a snowman, or going for a walk in the snow. I thought about what she could have been doing at that moment. She could have been reading her newspaper...oh wait but that wasn't delivered due to the snow. Well she could have been watching the news...oh wait, she did that already today. Well she could go through old items in the storage room; oh wait, that's downstairs." By comparing the endless possibilities of things you could do, to the options that she had really was very powerful to me. It was powerful because it shows the drastic difference and made me think that people probably get very sad with a lack of activities as they get older and it gets harder to move around.
ReplyDeletei like the way you opened this, your writing style is very good. i also like the part when you said "I thought about one of the big ideas of Tuesdays With Morrie; Morrie had a hard time 'letting go'" because it gave me more of an insight in to what you were thinking wile writing this
ReplyDeleteI liked your reference to Tuesdays With Morrie, specifically the reference to “letting go”. The individual Elizabeth is referring to used to be a “get up and go” type, unafraid to face any challenge, trying to motivate others to do the same. Since I know who Elizabeth is talking about I can see she’s paid a lot of attention to small details. But I think the one thing I’ve noticed she could elaborate on is the challenge that’s involved with getting up and down those stairs; how she has to walk sideways holding on to the handrail one step at a time to navigate each and every step; how the wrought iron metal rail wobbles a bit, sometimes making her nervous. If no one is there and she falls? What then? That to me is when she seems most challenged, most afraid that something might happen.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you made your post into a narrative one. Like Jasper, I agree that your post was more powerful by comparing the amount of activities you could've done as opposed to the limited few of the protagonist in your post. The old person you wrote about is similar to ones many people know (stubborn when offered assistance). Finally I admired your connection to your reading book.
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