What might you do or address differently as a result of what you've learned this unit, individually and with your family?
This unit was a little strange to me. Normally I'm bored in school because I find nothing I'm learning is applicable to my life. While the food unit was really important to me (and I did find it interesting), the illness and dying unit really caught my attention. I might not have shown it in class, and maybe my blog posts didn't thoroughly show my thought process, but I felt strangely excited by the different things I could explore. I've also noticed myself being more aware of what people say, whether I'm on the bus and I hear people talking about sick relatives or family members reminiscing about loved ones.
Normally my family frames dead relatives in a positive light. Now, it's more interesting for me to sit around and listen to them gush over one's accomplishments and never once touch on their flaws. It seems to me that when a loved one dies, their flaws die with them. But what bothers me the most, is that they all wait until the person has passed to express their affection for them. While everyone is laughing and telling pleasant stories, as morbid as this may sound to some people, I tend to think of the person's flaws. I think about the guilt and insults that they had thrust upon supposed loved ones; the same loved ones who sit and laugh and tell stories now.
I'm not quite sure what to make of all this, but I do think this was a eye opening unit; definitely into the dominant discourse of illness and dying.
What I found most interesting was your comment
ReplyDelete"But what bothers me the most, is that they all wait until the person has passed to express their affection for them."
That was something I came to grips with long before my father passed away. I realized that our western culture dictates it's acceptable for a male child to kiss his mother but not his father. I decided that I was going to break with western "tradition" and show my affection for him. At first I was a bit apprehensive, wondering how others around me might interpret my affection for another male. But, hey he's my father so why should I really care what other people might think. After awhile I didn't even give it a thought. It felt good. It felt natural. It made our relationship stronger. When he was gone I was so glad that I did.
As to what you might do to improve on this entry, I don't think we "...never once touch on their flaws". We simply appreciate the good things more than the flaws, so those memories tend to stay with us longer.
the comment that i found most interesting was 'when a loved one dies, their flaws die with them.'
ReplyDeletewhen i read this it made me strangely think of Oscar Wilde and The Picture of Dorian Gray. it struck me as something that lord Henry might say. i am not saying that you are like lord Henry who is a horrid person. i am saying that your thought is very physiologically analytical if that makes any sense what so ever.
I like how you focused on one particular aspect of illness and dying. I had always noticed that too - the way people seem to forget about someone's flaws when they're gone (I wrote my ten minute play about that topic last year). I liked the way you said it:
ReplyDelete"It seems to me that when a loved one dies, their flaws die with them."
I notice this a lot when I'm around my father's side of my family. Him and his sisters will always talk about their parents, and joke about all the quirky things they did, but they won't say anything they didn't like about them. They don't even really talk about their personalities; it's as if they're afraid to touch they subject.
Another part I liked about your post was the next line:
"But what bothers me the most, is that they all wait until the person has passed to express their affection for them."
However, I thought you were going to go into more detail, but I guess it's okay that you didn't since this was supposed to be a pretty short post.
P.S. Also, this all seems to apply to Looking for Alaska.